FilmFloggers

6. The Fifth Element (1997)

September 21, 2021 FilmFloggers Season 3 Episode 6
FilmFloggers
6. The Fifth Element (1997)
Show Notes Transcript

Welcome to 15 minutes of Flog, the bitesize companion piece to the world-renowned FilmFloggers podcast! Here you'll find a Notorious waffler and a renowned Bullsh*t trivia expert attempting to condense their useless long-winded points into just 15 minutes! 

No bullshit this episode, as The Thomas makes his long-awaited 15 minutes of Flog debut. (Actually, this is his second 15-minute flog appearance as his proper debut will be coming up in our 31 days of horror flog, but who's counting?)   

Either way, was it worth the wait? 

Nope.

Are you a Tight Arse?

(Head Over To Our
Website for The Full Episode Notes!)

Topics crammed into the 15 minutes include:

  • Was an orange vested Bruce Willis the last time we saw the real Bruce Willis? 
  • How did someone that svelte ingest stones that big? 
  • Why is she blue? 
  • How is she so good at singing opera with a belly full of bricks? 
  • Chris Tucker, not Chris Rock...What was that? 
  • Would you go all night long all night ohhhhhh with Ruby Rhod? How is the great evil making calls from a giant ball of fire? 
  • Gary Oldman...The hair? The plastic headpiece? Does anyone else bleed HP sauce? 
  • Are you a fan of dungarees? 
  • What were you doing at 16? And why weren't you writing The Fifth Element? What was I doing? Pulling another all-nighter searching for the golden warthog on Halo 2, most likely. Worth it. 


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Ben :

Welcome to 15 minutes of flog the bite sized vloggers podcast. Each week you'll find me then a notorious waffler and me, Fiona. Yet what are you, Fiona? That wasn't in the script. The renowned Oh, I am me, Fiona, the renowned bullshit trivia queen. Yeah, OK. Attempt to review a film in just 15 minutes. Oh, welcome. I've done the welcome. But am I having the welcome bit at the end or at the start? That's right. Well, that's it then, isn't it?

Tom:

Well, let me just pull up some stuff about

Ben :

Fifth element, good fail, decent look. All Ok, should we make a start? Oh, you want to get a countdown arched here? Don't worry, brother, I'll just put on my hand. Yeah, yeah, OK. Hello. Hello. Hello, Ben. Yeah, hi, Tom. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, hello. Yeah, we're here

Tom:

And we're talking about the Fifth Element.

Ben :

Yeah, yeah. We're just getting it done. Let's on it. But now. Good feel done. A review on the Moving the Needle podcast. Thanks for having me. Good. Good show. Good set people. Well, I've made reference to this on the Demolition Man episode. I mean, Fiona did. It was a bit of a Burch affair, so, you know, a bit of a show, bit of a show, but you know, you live and learn. You have to improve, you make mistakes and you grow from them and come back bigger and stronger and better. Ok, yeah, I agree. So I think we could have really done an hour on this. I think it's it's got some stuff in it. It's just

Tom:

It. It I mean,

Ben :

It's it probably should have done an hour on come back to it one day, but I'm just trying to milk it for its content. So I thought we'd do a quick 15 minute just to get get some more out of it.

Tom:

Yeah, I mean, I think we should just dive I'll set a timer as well.

Ben :

It's only 15 minutes. You see these episodes,

Tom:

Yeah, well, it's tight. You've got selective

Ben :

Ok, right? Go, go, go.

Tom:

I've started.

Ben :

Right? Oh, we're in luck. Here we

Tom:

Go. Ok, so fifth element Luc Besson, that's some Bruce Willis, you know, established action star at the moment. Shall I give a quick synopsis here? All right. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ben :

Here we go very quickly. So in the twenty Mindless Bruce Willis finds the fate of the world in his hands when Lilo Milla Djokovic falls into his cab together with father Vito Cornelius in home and zany broadcaster Ruby Rhod Chris Tucker, not Chris Rock, Dallas must race against time and the wicked industrialist Zog Gary Oldman to save humanity. Ok, that's Chris Tucker. Not Chris Rock. Ok, no.

Tom:

Yeah. Let's just get that right from the off. as plot goes, I think that probably is about us as far as we'll go with plot, because if we go any deeper than that, I think I'll start exposing my complete lack of understanding of what's going on.

Ben :

I think that's all you need. She's the fifth

Tom:

Yeah, she's the Fifth Element.

Ben :

The great evil Mr. Shadow, who rings up Gary Planet.

Tom:

Yeah, the planet of evil.

Ben :

Basically, it's coming. And then the brown sauce starts coming down the face.

Tom:

Yeah, well, it starts leaking from the bleeding. But I mean, it was just say that Luc Besson nineteen ninety seven. This is I mean, I think in terms of in terms of the objectives, are you to describe this? I mean, it's creative, it's ambitious, it's tongue in cheek. I don't think in any way it's trying to take itself too seriously. But I understand with Luc Besson, I mean, this is after he's done Leon, which is obviously, you know, absolutely is this. This is after that, isn't it? I think that was ninety or something.

Ben :

Ninety four, I think, yeah,

Tom:

Yeah, she's an Akita before that, of course, That was a good one.

Ben :

Yeah, yeah, good. I've seen that. I've seen is called. I've got here. Actually, Point of no return is the American remake of Nikita.

Tom:

Yeah, OK, right? I haven't seen that. But I mean, he's obviously a very talented sort of, you know, he's a visual filmmaker.

Ben :

Yeah, well, I think the Fifth Element is, don't think many have been made like this before or since. To be honest, in terms of Besson, I've not really apart from all this, obviously, as you said, Nikita Leon, I've seen Lucy. I haven't seen the whole, you know, using more than 10 percent your brain with Scarlett Johansson, he's produced a hell of a lot as well, like he's produced. We've spoke about nil by mouth. Oh God. Yeah, that's why Gary Oldman is in this, because I think Besson financed a good chunk of nil by mouth and he was a producer. So I think Gary was like, Well, OK, I'll do The Fifth Element because you did that for me, because I'm not sure Gary was a big fan of his performance in this whole thing is a bit of a shame. I think he's I think he's top notch.

Tom:

Oh yeah, I think he's good at this. Yeah.

Ben :

Taken on, I produce that those kind of films,

Tom:

It's quite extraordinary to mention nil by know, fifteen minutes is as Fifth Element. I mean, the nil by mouth is is hideous. I mean, it's absolutely grim, isn't it? Yeah, horrendous. I think it's based on Luke Gary Oldman's own experience of like having an alcoholic father and all this stuff. I think I think that's what it's based. I think it's what it came from. But yeah, absolutely grim. Yeah, I mean, worth a watch, but yeah, just prepare yourselves.

Ben :

As we said, I think we spoke about it. You you need or you need energy you need. I don't know what you need for that, but you need something.

Tom:

You need resilience, I think, to make a film

Ben :

You know, Bruce Willis, you know, Milla Miller,

Tom:

Miller, Miller, Miller? I don't know. But main. This is the main debut, isn't it?

Ben :

I think so. Yeah. Yeah, she's still pretty

Tom:

Yeah, I mean, she's far I mean, I mean, the poor Mrs. A.. One of the standout bits of this, I mean, it's just full of. I mean, every every single segment of it is a new, larger than life character is introduced. I mean, it should be said that one of the most well, I guess one of the most memorable moments from this is is the Chris Tucker character, the Ruby Ruby Rod.

Ben :

Oh, yes. And I mean, he

Tom:

He she is only introduced about two thirds of kind of like comedy sidekick esque role. Two thirds of the way in which is quite bold because I mean, you'd have thought it would take a full feature length to kind of you would think it would take quite a lot of time to sort of introduce a character like this to it to an audience. But yeah, I mean, she she just shows up, you know, halfway through. Well, two thirds of the way through. We continue with. We continue with Luc Besson sort of obsession with blowing Gary Oldman up, which is good. Spoiler alert, we have a bit of that.

Ben :

It's nice to see Bruce Bruce Willis in. I that. Bruce was actually decent when he cared. I think I think I've not seen a great deal of Bruce Willis in the last 10, maybe 15 years, but I've heard that he just kind of just phoned it and he turns up. He's he's in largely pretty swank films now. And yeah, I guess naturally, it just comes for a paycheck and just goes, you know, grunts a bit and it's like, Oh, no, I can't. I think that's Bruce Willis. Maybe I don't know. But, you know, good. Yeah, like a good actor and he's good in this plays it. Well, he cares just about the right amount. I think in this, it's like, I mean this.

Tom:

Yeah, I mean, what do you think of the cost Paul Gaultier. Oh, yes, you know, design costumes.

Ben :

Well, it's yeah. Well, you know, the quirky, matches the tone of the film, doesn't it? That the tone is just is just wild. Yeah, yeah. Is wild. I think that goes down to what the actors are saying. The dialogue, the screenplay. Maybe if you don't know a lot about it, you came into and just watch this film you put like, Sorry, what? What are these people talking about? It's all over the place, but I'm assuming that's kind of the point. And I know Besson wrote this when I think he was like 16 or something.

Tom:

Well, I think it maybe started it then, but I taken him about 10 years to actually finish his script. I believe it took a long time,

Ben :

But it's it's all over the place, but I'm just because he doesn't know what he's doing, you know, it's just written random characters and random bits of dialogue. It's like it kind of fits in with the tone of the film so

Tom:

Well, you can only make a film like you can this. If you had something like, you know, Leon on your CV that you can point to as being a fairly widely established success and be like, Yeah, just trust me with this one for people, because I mean, you know, how would you even go about describing this completely surreal, like the costumes you've got people dress like, you know, aristocracy, you've got people dressed up in, you know, we have this sort of opera singing alien. We've got the fat aliens at the beginning, and we just walk in a sort of bobbing through that. What do you remember

Ben :

The man to show Shaun's man to Sean's? Yeah,

Tom:

Just show up to basically go, look, you know, that the evil is coming.

Ben :

How is the opera singer getting those stones ever, but it's just

Tom:

I don't know whether that's been in jest. You hell they've

Ben :

Got be slim as well. You know, if she was, if whatever.

Tom:

Yeah, that would make a

Ben :

Turncoat, you know? Yeah, you could expect Well, it's for bricks.

Tom:

I mean, it's for full on bricks.

Ben :

Yeah, they're huge as well. Yeah.

Tom:

And like y y, they're in her.

Ben :

No idea. Well, you know, just safekeeping.

Tom:

Just put them in there.

Ben :

I think the biggest thing for me is that is practice is what's practical and obvious practical effects. You know, the city and stuff, they're all models. And then you've got a bit of green screen, of course. Unbelievable. Look, I could actually believe how well they held up, considering this is ninety seven, this is the same year as that fucking abominations born the same year. Ah, it's just I know this has got a bigger budget, but fuck me and I. Yeah, oh, it's just I had to watch Jungle Cruise recently with The Rock. Oh, it's just this is despicable.

Tom:

Oh, is it CGI or

Ben :

Is this just to, you know, everything, every

Tom:

Jack Whitehall in it. I mean, come on.

Ben :

Well, he was actually OK. He was tolerable in was just like, he's playing his character. Well, whatever, just every fucking item on screen was CGI, the CGI. I don't know why they didn't use CGI. The Rock. Why not?

Tom:

Well, we're getting to that point, aren't we? in probably.

Ben :

But yeah, the effects. Yeah, brilliant. all. The cast is obviously it's pretty, pretty diverse, isn't the cast as well. But they all worked in home, reasonably serious.

Tom:

Acting as a safe pair, playing

Ben :

A bit of a bit of a silly character in this else. Doesn't look out of place. Good, decent actor. Anyway, so well, yeah, let's let's talk about Chris Tucker then that's that's what we're here for.

Tom:

Yeah. Well, I mean, I mean, obviously the the Willis is boarding the train for his for his cruise? And you get this very sort of quick, curt, flashy, slightly naff scene, which is almost like a sort of catwalk look where it's all this. I mean, I think the character is almost kind of rehearsing how he'll introduce the winner. That is Bruce Willis. The following night. So it's this whole flashy, showy kind of runway scene, which is, you know, it's I mean, it's so great. I mean, it's so creative. I mean, how how do you articulate your vision for that scene? I don't know how much of it, of course, is it's coming from Tucker. Like, you know, the improvisation of it and how much is a vision that's, you know, Luc Besson has.

Ben :

Yeah, that's the question I posed in the

Tom:

Yeah, whose vision is that? And like, what

Ben :

One of my biggest things with Chris Tucker in says. You know, I know he's singing quite a lot and it's high pitched and na na na yeah, if I ask my father. Yeah, yeah. And the thing is, you can watch it and go, Well, this is one of the most vomit inducing performances I've ever seen on screen, but that's completely nutty to the point. He's supposed to be the most obnoxious fucking asshole imaginable, and he's absolutely nailed it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Through the screeching through the singing for the high, you know, Chris Tucker is quite high pitched. He's got quite a distinctive voice anyway. But when he starts whispering to the girl, I don't want to be hitting him. That was pretty much what I was hearing. For all that and going like, just just all of a sudden it was like, Chris, I'm just not, you know, I can say, you're unbelievably irritating, but I just I can't think what you're saying apart from just all night, all night and then. But it's also his

Tom:

Movements and, you know, his mannerisms are all it's all very it's all pretty. It's impressive. I mean, I think it's an it's it's an impressive performance of someone that ugly.

Ben :

Well, it's memorable, isn't it? It's you won't. Yeah. He's kind of shoehorned in at the end as he has his sidekick, and it's like, that's a bit there's no point questioning the plot or what they're doing. No, no. The, you know, the decisions the characters make. It does. It doesn't matter. Does it really, you know, you could say that that's a bit silly is just shoehorned in at the end of this as this guy who just like Corbin, the man, my man. Come over here, man. I can't get this week to work. It's like, Well, okay, yeah, fine. But it's yeah, it's all good, isn't it? It's fun. It is fun. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Oh, you don't know, I've actually I took like two minutes left. Well, would you think rush hour? You're a rush hour bloke?

Tom:

Yeah, not. Not really, no. No.

Ben :

Yeah, I think I think this is probably, yeah,

Tom:

Think it is. Yeah.

Ben :

Other than I've seen a bit of rush hour, Chris Tucker, but I think he does well here.

Tom:

Well, I'm not really sold on Jackie Chan good. He's obviously a good, you know, karate guy wherever he is.

Ben :

I think Jackie Chan is good because he's he's whole fighting in a sort of a comedic way.

Tom:

Ok.

Ben :

I think that's quite hard to do where you like, you know, you're fucking jumping through washing machines and you're doing all sorts, all like all these silly flips because you've

Tom:

Obviously got to be quite dedicated to what time, how many of them would then retain, like, a sense of humor?

Ben :

Yeah, it's a facial expression as well, isn't Chan is not in The Fifth Element. You know what? The Fifth Element, you, sir. No, no, it's not, though. No, you know what else is there? Yeah. The soundtrack? There's lots of music going on. It is kind of like.

Tom:

There's that kind of bell ding that you get cross. Did you notice that? Yeah. Well, it worked. Once you know, why wouldn't it work again?

Ben :

But it is very musical. Most of the scenes

Tom:

Of music played to music,

Ben :

So you know it wouldn't go as far as saying in with what I assume Bass on is trying to do with this. Oh wait, I lost 30 seconds, Christ. Well, you know, fifth album. You know, what are your thing? What have you got something up? Well.

Tom:

Well, I don't know. I mean, I opened up. I pinpoint what it is about this film that you like or what the plot, you know, this sort of stuff. But it's it's one of these. It's just, you know, extremely creative. I think it really showcases Luc Besson's talent, excellent performances, you know, just trippy. Go and watch good costumes. Bad go.

Ben :

Yeah, quirky, flamboyant cinematography is say, Oh my, the arms going off. That's it. There we

Tom:

Go. Bloody Elf 15 minutes is is nothing.

Ben :

Well, it's hard, isn't it? I mean, Fiona did like, you know, a decent film, but you need more than fucking 15 minutes. But that's kind of that's kind of the challenge, isn't it? Really, it's kind of like, you know, we need more time, especially me, because, you know, I like to talk a lot. That's the challenge.

Tom:

The problem is with 15 minutes is that I just need to make sure it doesn't turn out. I don't come lazy with it because I'll see it in 15 minutes. You can basically just like just chat a load of absolute balls without actually having to back up anything you're saying. And it's just if it starts to sound like, is this guy even fucking making a point or is he just babbling?

Ben :

Well, you can just leave things hanging. You like, Well, you know, what do you mean by that point?

Tom:

Well, there's too much time.

Ben :

Yeah, they aren't

Tom:

Gonna have time to. Maybe, yeah, I think I it because I think I mean, I don't know that. I think I was potentially just like very, very just coming out with very well.

Ben :

You know, I think there were some films, you point across

Tom:

Which wrote, I'm going to turn my recording

Ben :

Yeah, well, you know, take a party for you.

Tom:

All right. Ok, right. Goodbye, everyone. That

Ben :

Well, Tom, I'll put you on the spot here. I oh god, where can you find film? Flock is any idea where you can find the the

Tom:

Lads, where you can find it, where you can Twitter, you can find it on Instagram, you can find it on Facebook, you can find it everywhere. You can find it on Apple Podcasts.

Ben :

You know, I think the fans are the go in

Tom:

We need the Thomas. Where? Oh, where am I?

Ben :

Get him on social media. What's he doing?

Tom:

Well, I am. I am on Facebook. But but just a

Ben :

So I won't tell them that, you know, don't these friends request?

Tom:

No, no. I don't want to be sort of, yeah, know, I am. I am on this stuff. But Ben generally takes, I mean, from the off, we establish that, you know, despite Ben really doing is doing his utmost try and get me into the social media aspect of thought. This whole thing, it just didn't. It just wasn't going to happen. Yeah, I just I just couldn't do it. I'm sorry, guys. It's not that I don't want to interact, but I'm just not. I'm not a social media bloke.

Ben :

I just don't like it. If you went on a show what's it called? 100 Things a hundred things. I film about hundred things pod. Hundreds of things we learnt from film podcast. All right, she was on that with with John and Mark, so that was good. So, you know, by all means, you know, Tom, I'm trying to haul people out, so I'm trying to haul Fiona out to shows. Yeah, if you want to put yourself forward and go, you know, I'm ready, I'm available just to go on and just represent film flow. Oh, please, I'm available.

Tom:

I've got nothing going on. I'm literally get in touch through Ben, of course, and just say, Look, you know, we want that guy.

Ben :

No problem, you know, we'll discuss terms, stuff. But you want to hear more from Tom, maybe in an hour or bit longer than 50 minutes. You know, he's here. He's ready. He's got the Polo on.

Tom:

I've got a polo shirt. You know,

Ben :

He's ready to chat, you know, whatever. but a marvel.

Tom:

Yeah, yeah. No, no. I think something something a bit more.

Ben :

I don't know. What about Mama Mia? No, I Mamma Mia!

Tom:

Mamma mia! Well, I mean, that might be an these, isn't it, where, you know, sometimes the best conversation comes out, you know, maybe I'll have a big epiphany talking about it. But you know what? This isn't dog shit.

Ben :

This is good. Maybe you think, God, you know well.

Tom:

Yeah. And those dungarees on Meryl Streep

Ben :

Yeah. Julie Walters is actually she's a

Tom:

She's actually not unbearable. She's not. yeah, anyway, yeah,

Ben :

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just reach out, I saw him, with that. Oh yeah.

Tom:

All right, guys, right until next time. Bye.