Bulgarian Chainsaw Massacre? Walker Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
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Ben Davis 0:00
And he's Ben
Ben Davis 0:05
and you guessed it.
This is 15 minutes of law. What else? What else could it be? 15 minutes. That's all it is. So let's go.
Okay, start. Are you ready? So today we are reviewing Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022
Ben Davis 0:27
It was a fucking massacre
5.2 on the IMDB 1974 version got 7.5 to thats low the 2003 version got 6.2 and a 2013 version got 4.8
Ben Davis 0:42
I didn't do the 17
Ben Davis 0:44
Yeah, yeah, we should on the remake. Okay, which is to remake Which one 2003
Right. Only got 6.2
After nearly 50 years of hiding Leatherface returns to terrorise a group of idealistic young friends who accidentally disrupt his carefully shielded world in a remote Texas town.
Ben Davis 1:03
Yes. Oh Gen. Zed Whoa.
Gen Z. Yep. Directed by David blue Garcia. He did Tejano in 2018 The what sorry? Tejano?
Ben Davis 1:16
wasn't meant to be directed by the guy who directed the Evil Dead remake which which was actually quite good.
Oh, okay. What's his name? forgotten?
Dont no, I just do to director of the actual film who directed it right now. Okay, you've got your favourite person towards Sarah Yarkin who played melody to curly haired girl. She's in happy death 2 U. Elsie Fisher looked at name who plays Leila her sister. She voiced Agnes on this Despicable Me.
Ben Davis 1:43
Eighth grade. Was she not in eighth grade?
I only do the films I know. Mark Burnham. She's been enough. Hey, Mark Burnham. He plays Leatherface he was in driver x into 2017 Jacob latimore as Dante. He was in like a boss in 2020. Moe Dunfield as Richter the mechanic dude. And Olwen some French Surname. Okay, Sally.
Ben Davis 2:09
Right. I think like I said, Fiona, I think you'd be probably better off with when you get the film and the characters and the actors. Look at Wikipedia because they may have their films their main ones. IMDB for for
that. I'm not going to talk about film, Ben, if I don't know about it. So I'm not going to mention if I'm I don't know, film, do films that I know.
Ben Davis 2:26
You didn't know half the films that you come out. I know. So what you talking about how just you're talking over the mic.
I used IMDb, Ben. And that's what I'm going to use in future. Now you
Ben Davis 2:36
just contradicted yourself. Now back to you. Talk about films that you know about you don't know about these films back to the film.
The ROOM 2:42
You're tearing me apart Liza! Why are you so hysterical? Do you understand life? Do you?
Its the first Texas movie to feature the originals main character Sally. However, she's played by all Olwen as the original actress Marilyn burns passed away in 2014.
Yeah. So why do it? Don't know. Why do it there was a big issue in this film where a lot of the actors, it was again, one of those films that the actors would just show still shit. You just wanted him to get killed?
Ben Davis 3:14
Yeah, that's fine. I seen a horror trope, isn't it? Even the most of the the actors in the original aren't grey. You've got Franklin in the wheelchair. Well, one of the worst characters in horror ever.
He was horrible. Oh he was terrible. Yeah, but it's part of the experience. You like to have a character who you just like, Oh, I think I quite want them to survive
Ben Davis 3:35
But I think Melody is is meant to be that character in some ways. She manages to curly haired one. Yeah, she's I don't think it's played as this. But she's one of those characters where she's doing the right thing. She's like, Oh, my God, the old woman's dead. Oh, God, we need
to get out of here?
But she's fucking rancid. She's probably the worst character she killed. But she comes off. She's trying to portray this character who's trying to do the right thing has got morals. He's upset. She stinks!
it. I mean, you just can't like any of these characters. You can't like them. Well, you
Ben Davis 4:11
could like what's her name? Elsie Fisher? I don't like well, she's meant to be the most likeable. But what's all the stuff of the guns and why she? Well, that is the backstory so bad, but
obviously she survived. Why did she survive? Why? Because she's
Ben Davis 4:27
in the film. So she needs a backstory. You know, she was quite good in eighth grade. She was you know, she's a good actor, but the thing is, I don't want to just go off on this film entirely. It sucks. It's absolutely hideous. But oh god that weather. Oh, we're having some bad weather in the UK Eunice's?
Oh, Storm Eunice
Ben Davis 4:44
it's it's very easy just to say how much this film stinks. And it does think a lot. It's so so maybe we should try and concentrate on the stuff that is okay. It's, if you look at it and think about the film, overall. It's mindless. It's brain dead. Is it fun? in places, maybe
yeah it's got some bits and it's got quite good kills to be fair
Ben Davis 5:05
The gore's there but is that again probably the gore CGI looks like shit most of it some of it looks okay and it's very much a case in this film the gores there to mask over how dogshit stories which is fine, sometimes
But then you've got this bullshit of you know somebody literally been hung up in the air With a fucking chainsaw in their stomach and yet they're still alive.
Ben Davis 5:33
Oh, it's Sally She's tough. Sally is an absolutely hideous character but same
what your man what do you call them? Dante? He gets his face sawed off she gets fucked down the stairs melody right and they all live
Ben Davis 5:45
oh she takes the hammer to the chest or the face!?
Leatherface gets shot about 24 times he's still alive he's nearly drowned at one point he's still alive.
Ben Davis 5:55
How deeps that hole?!
No idea no sewage or the water supplym oh talking of sewage,
Ben Davis 6:03
Oh melody gets a leather face turd on her head. Yeah, she
was quite good. Quite gloopy as well. She must stink.
Ben Davis 6:09
Leather face. He's. So this is this is a direct sequel to the original. Yes. So Leatherface is as old as my Nan. Yeah,
he's a fast mover, isn't he?
Ben Davis 6:19
Yeah, he is. Yeah, he moves he Swift. Yeah. Fluid, not quite buying the fact of how old leather face is meant to be?
What it doesn't exactly look like he's 70 Does he? Or was
Ben Davis 6:30
he doesn't fucking move like he's in his mid 70s. Now.
So my question is, and I would have liked to have known this more. How did Leatherface get to be in the orphanage in the first place? Because that old lady, it's an orphanage?
Ben Davis 6:42
I think he's older than the old lady.
Yeah, exactly. That was my point. Well, how did you get to be there? She was just like, This is my last of my boys
Ben Davis 6:49
Well, because after the original, always found me die Leatherface and he and he winds up in this in this orphanage? Yeah, but
she must know about his back story when hes in his mid 20s?! She Yeah, he's over 18 and his chainsaw is in the wall. So what was old Doris or whatever her name was plastering it up. So it wasn't that he wasn't allowed in her bedroom? Yes. Is that why it was not explained?
Ben Davis 7:16
It was a minor miracle that it worked. Just came on? Yeah, how long's it been in the wall? 40- 50 years almost 50 years? Yes,
that's correct. Yes. Yes. And you no petrol and all that never runs out of petrol that thing? Fucking cost of these days. He didn't run out fairly quick. Oh Dear! Eunice is really kicking off!
The ROOM 7:36
Ben Davis 7:38
That's 15 minutes I'm stressing what
else Oh whinge about the mask about how dogshit demands. But do you understand why it is now?
Ben Davis 7:45
Still looks fucking hideous. It's
this weird clown bit of shit it just because he saws off her face.
Ben Davis 7:51
I saw the film Fiona. I know. I saw Yes, yes. Fine. It's an okay scene. When he sawing off his mom's face. It's like, oh, yeah, that's what you do. Yeah. just borrow that, she's gone now, so she doesn't need it.
What about the peekaboo scene? Well, yeah, but
Ben Davis 8:02
the thing is, that would have been more effective if it wasn't the trailer. So you're waiting for it. So it was like and then because you see the mask and that mask so it's just it's so sweage!
There's weird flashes in this film. Did you pick up on it where you get flashes of the original mask? You get flashes of the mum. I'm pretty sure you get a really quick flash of Sally from the original when she's on the back of the truck with the blood is screaming. There's like several flashes very quick flashes. I didn't fail and now it's like, oh, yeah, it's the original. Okay, why? What did I say? I was shitting all over it?
Yeah, well, it's because it's one of those films that you just don't have anything good to say about you know, fair enough. Yes to Gore was was okay. It was fine. The bus scene quite good little bit of slicing and dicing going along there. You know, fine. Slicing and dicing slicing and dicing literally, he was literally sawing in between
Ben Davis 8:55
you know this? What about the Gen Z?Any thing to say about that? No i dont get it!
I don't get Gentri fuckers or something yeah gentri fuckers, isn't it?
Ben Davis 9:04
I thought he was trying to link that in with the Gen Z stuff. But I think that's just the whole gentrifying stuff. I like the fact that they've taken over this town and they're trying to re reinvent it and renovate it and make it flashy and introduce new people like they get on the bus with all the fucking rich people. Are they Gen Z on the bus that are quite old? Gen Z's like 1997 to present day. That's what some of them are the guys the people who are doing the renovations. I guess they're Gen Z but the people? Yeah, well, the Gen Z investors. They don't. There's a Gen Z or Gen Zed. I have I'm assuming Gen Z
Gen Z probably. Let's not get too caught up on this. Oh, come on. Now. Let's talk about the bus scene, its Cool! What do you think of you know under video and him coming onto the bus and thier trying to get you cancelled. It's filth, its terrible! That is something that will probably happen is you know, the
Ben Davis 9:56
Its the best part. And it's like, it's not the best part. I mean, it's the most It's the most memorable scene. Yes, isn't it? Yes.
Because you've got that, you know, it's obviously a live video. He's gone live and you've got somebody come to say I want some of this. Like,
Ben Davis 10:09
yeah, it's just, you know, you know, the irony of one of the people commenting saying, Oh, that looks so fake. Yeah. Yeah, it does. It's because it's CGI shit. Yes. Yes. Correct. Yeah. Funny, I guess. depends what you define as funny. Yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah. What else come on.
So he gets so she hits in way are really really cheap corkscrew. And he puts his arm back and her and he's just ohhh owww ohh bless him! Well, yeah, he has shot three or four times in this film and he doesn't flinch.
Ben Davis 10:40
Yes. Take to chainsaw to the face as well.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So how can a tiny little corkscrew cause him to flinch? But a gunshot wound?
Ben Davis 10:50
I don't know have we moved over to the supernatural Leather face now!?
obviously supernatural now. He has to be supernatural. When he basically drowns she fucking saws him in the face, He's drowning. He's got blood pouring in that water. And the next thing they're driving off and he just like helloooo I'm back for more all of us. Like piss off. Leatherface fuck off. That
Ben Davis 11:12
was that was really bad that last scene hes a 70 year old man automatic was a Tesla hybrid car. Yeah. And then he pops back in, which is fine. And then you get a really fake looking to decapitation. And then you get the homage which is the most offensive part of him doing this the dancer in like a sped up dance. Yeah. But he does.
He did it in the last film didn't the end of the original film. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah. All right. Yeah.
Ben Davis 11:40
Again, the thing about the original film no call. Yes. No, go next to no blood.
But that's the thing. You see, you see him you. You see as you mentioned, you first thing you see is his face. So you know what he looks like, you know, he's just decrepit
Ben Davis 11:54
I dont want to see his eyes! his fucking cheek! You know,
you see all that? And then it's just the thing with the original film, if I remember correctly, I haven't seen in years. But you know, he's quite silent. Throughout the film. He'll only put his chainsaw on when he's about to slice somebody. Where's your man in this one? He's walking up and down the street with his chainsaw going 90!
Ben Davis 12:14
yeah. He saw it in terms of he doesn't speak in this one fight. Well he doesn't he doesn't do anything right. Isn't grunt doesn't make any noises does he
whats this Sally shit, say my name. Oh, as if he's gonna remember your name, hes probably got dementia!
Ben Davis 12:27
Yeah, it's a Wank Jamie Lee Curtis, isn't it? That's what it's trying to do. It's the Halloween 2018 Jamie Lee Curtis dogshit Well, yeah, Sally it's just not needed. Why? Why do we need this? Same actor? She died? Just tasteless.
Yeah. Oh, fine. You've got two minutes to say positive stuff now. So there you go.
Ben Davis 12:51
Sally stuff. She gets she walks in and finds him you don't remember do
you? Don't remember? How do you remember?
Ben Davis 12:57
Now you do! again one of the worst things now you do. Oh, no, that's not no no. What do you mean? Why? Why
you have an issue then. Oh, for fucksake! Now you do! And and Melody she's able to hide underneath the bed for all that time. He can see her. The guy that walks in wherever his name is he can see her foot moving the mirror surely to God Leatherface con see that as well. But yeah, he doesn't pay a bit of heed to her under the bed
Ben Davis 13:25
so some nice stuff say some good stuff, Leatherface Texas Chainsaw Massacre. 2022 Come on. Come on. What did you like about me?
She got covered in sewage. That was good. You mentioned that Yeah, yeah. I liked the bus scene, I liked when it ended so I didn't have to watch any more.
Ben Davis 13:43
It is like 83 minutes so you don't really get a lot of time to sit back and go oh god so it's paced very well this is this is long paced very well. Yeah, yes. Yeah, move
hey go I've said a few positive things now now's your turn.
Ben Davis 13:57
Oh, what else happens in it? What else happens in it? I've got T 2 over the water oh yeah. When when levers getting knocked back. I was waiting for the Robert Patrick wag the finger before he falls into the water that had been quite effective. What else was gonna say? Well, it's the end of the day. It's Netflix isn't it? It's a typical Netflix you take a known property and then what you do is I don't want to do no I don't want to do fucking 15 minutes oh its loud, take a known property Netflix so you can own property so loud it's so loud it's too loud. Stop it. I'm turning off
it's just so loud right Gwon, Ben Hurry up.
Ben Davis 14:44
Right so Netflix. They take a film and then what they do is they then they smother it with politics and real world real life events and Gen Z and all this shit. And then what else they do also I got CGI dogshit CGI lazy rubbish, shit characters and then a half baked story. And then that's it. It's just Netflix all over, So we get for most of these horror films. Why is that so fucking loud?
I have no idea.
Ben Davis 15:13
Jesus fucking Christ.
Very loud. I've got a headache!
Ben Davis 15:19
Oh, God. Oh, did you press record? Sorry, did you press record? Let's do again. Fucked up. Okay, okay then yeah,
sorry what did you get that?
Yes I got yeah so you
Ben Davis 15:37
No but yeah the Netflix they take something that's well known do a remake that lots of money dogshit CGI bad actors bad performances? Real Life Events dump it in,
don't they? Yes. Say yes because I think that as high school shootings are in this one what was a film that we watch lately? Scream? Is that what we're trying to do kind of just build up a bit like that to like make it all about you know social media and all of that kind of shit. We're trying to
Ben Davis 16:03
copy but oh yeah, but screams screams just the you know, reasonably well made
film. Yes. Well, it's definitely
Ben Davis 16:10
it is what it isn't this film, isn't it? It's yeah, it's terrible. It's it's embarrassing, but it was always gonna be terrible. It was always gonna be embarrassing. Yes, you know, an 80 year old Leatherface happening. I'm not buying it. But what else you do? If you get your free minutes to spare, you want to just go, do You know what, i've got a tough way. The world you know? Well, it's tough play. So I just need to switch off right five minutes. What can I do? I just have some wine. Just enjoy some lever. Put some leatherface on. Or maybe just put on the original.
It's fine. It's okay. It is what it is, isn't it? It is fun. Don't get too upset by it. There's no point getting emotionally involved with it. It's when you start talking about it. You can't help but go. Yes. You can't say positive stuff. If you're reviewing it or you know, analysing it as we do expertly. You can't just go
doesn't know if you're trying to you're trying to do that. No, we just went hell for leather on it.
Ben Davis 17:06
Was that a pun. Yeah, Leatherface! Okay, right. Great. That's good. Oh, segments now. Great. Okay, now, let me just chain Well,
I think I think everyone's gonna know Ben. What these segments are gonna entail. Sorry.
Ben Davis 17:20
What's the segment?
What do we do pirate?
Ben Davis 17:23
Oh, this one first. See something I'm giving up on you. Okay,
Ben says something nice about Leatherface
Ben Davis 17:33
you're not explaining what we do. Oh,
but people should know. If they've been listening kissin consistently you should just explain very quickly then have 10 seconds to say something nice about Leatherface go
Ben Davis 17:43
he's the same age as my Nan. So you know now if you fancy be inspired. You can do if you want to.
quite light up and do Yeah, I think he's done that. I've done it. I think
Ben Davis 17:59
Here we go. Oh, yes. Oh, what a day so it's all worth it.
Yeah, it was just quite fantastic. well don, good. That's brilliant. Not usually witty
Ben Davis 18:15
The ROOM 18:20
You are a smelly pirate hooker.
Yeah, so we decided on it again. We decided here what are we going to rent, buy,stream? Do whatever you want. Sorry. I am pirating this film! God, I am not ashamed to say
Ben Davis 18:39
Oh, I can't believe it. That's the number that being said the bit that keep plants dead. That's when you put that in somebody's pie. Right? I can't because I'd have to. I'd have to play anyway. Okay, so you pirate you wouldn't you wouldn't even borrow someone's Netflix account? No,
I would not. Oh, gee, Netflix. I did borrow on my sister's account because we use my sister's account. Thank you Maria but if I didn't have Netflix
Ben Davis 19:02
I will pirate Oh, Jesus. I probably wouldn't even watch I don't want to hear this made me sick.
Anyways, next time. Oh,
Ben Davis 19:17
yeah. Yeah, if you got Netflix then you know go ahead. If you don't then
Ben with me on this!
Ben Davis 19:26
cannot condone the P word. Pirate. What's next? Oh yeah, there we go
daddy Oh, it's just hilarious.
You explained this one, but
Ben Davis 19:43
Flog score, the only score that cares...The only score that matters. IMBD don't need that. You need the flog score. Shat the movies. Wipe score. Fuck that shit.
Right. What's five
Ben Davis 20:01
Flog score 1-5 Being a demolition job one being a light tap on the bum!
What are you going what venue first this time around? I always go first. Okay now oh
Ben Davis 20:17
Well its not a five is it of course we can't give you a five because there's this there's some there's something in there. I wasn't completely offended by it. It's terrible but
yeah, it's terrible. What gives somebody a 5 What film could be
Ben Davis 20:31
something that's that's terrible. Well, something that's really really offensive that makes you upset because it's so bad. You don't get
any we just spent the last 15 minutes late in this film? Yeah,
Ben Davis 20:41
I know. I know. But we Yeah, but there was so a couple of things were. Yeah. Okay, fine.
It's forgettable. It's fine. It's I woke up this morning thinking what the fuck I'm talking about. There you go.
Ben Davis 20:50
So what you're given a 3.75
I'm giving it 4.75, oh Jesus. So not quite a five not quite five haven't reached the five yet? No. 4.75 Yeah, but
Ben Davis 21:01
do you see a five is is you can't just be handing out fives it's like handing out zeros you
when you were in school systems you're weird up we spent the last 15 minutes talking about this film we said one or two things that was probably positive our yeah the other things we completely slept well we haven't given it a five year actors we don't like yeah, I will never ever watch this again. And I will more certainly pirate if I if I ever give it a five digit side. 4.75
Ben Davis 21:28
So there you go. So must have something then must have some I like the scene on the bus. There you go. Right. Okay. Is that it? What else do we do? You can
find us on Facebook to Twitter and Instagram.
Ben Davis 21:39
Oh no. We've got the Irish kids to do that now. Yeah, I'll translate quickly. What are they saying? Because I haven't got a fucking clue.
Irish Kids 21:45
She is the is the Barrett sin at Phil and floggers by styes called Ben has to dealt with feel not 27 Eight to subscribe and tell a friend.
I don't know what they're saying. Share. Subscribe, Share, Subscribe. Tell a friend that I'm basically embarrassing.
Ben Davis 22:09
Yeah. 27 Oh, and Ben puts up with Fiona 24/7 2474 Seven years trivia is embarrassing. Yeah. It's not. But what else? FilmFloggers are committed to providing five reviews? No. Oh, God. You can't say either. No, it's no it's one. No. It's one star content. Five Star effort. Oh, I wrote this out for you. She's been months since I've read it. That's that's what you're gonna hear from the Irish people, but we're gonna have to it now. Every episode has to tell you what to expect. So the whole thing's dogshit because we're gonna have to say anyway. Okay.
Don't forget to like, share and comment, guys.
Ben Davis 22:49
There you go. Okay, well, we've done the last segment of the last segment. Ordinary people I've got some people to shout out for. It's a horror film, isn't it? So let's do some horror
stuff. Oh, yeah. We got Michael Myers, baby. Come at me. Ordinary people.
Ben Davis 23:07
Fiona. What is it again? Please. What is it? It's what I do for the people.
It's where we shout out people who are not so well known as exactly give them a little bit of a boost. Yeah. You were very considerate people. Yeah. Yeah.
Ben Davis 23:22
Anything else? No. Okay, great. Yes, that's fine. Oh, we got scaring Sam. That's another couple actually that do they do horror based films? Yes. Again, another couple similar to SP filmviewers just doing better self less offensive. A lot more popular. A lot more likeable. than this one. Oh, right. Yeah. Could you think of it?
I don't know. I you just completely lost me there. Right. You just went off on a tangent as you usually Yes. And I've a couple that's just well, it's not really hard to be better than those Ben is it?
Ben Davis 23:59
Well, in saying that, you know, I'm giving these people a platform which they don't have. So he's better platform to you. Okay.
The ROOM 24:08
Wheel of horror.
Ben Davis 24:11
Good. Very good. Yes. Yes. Good. Right. Okay. Cast me to hell. It's good. actually a really good. That is good, though. That's good. I got some good stuff. The fact that we're talking about Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Texas is there Chuck Norris. Walker, Texas Ranger okay want to shout that out? Okay. All right show back in the day. Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris you know he's been quiet to these days he's you know getting on a bit so I'm sure I'm sure we appreciate the show. What else we got? Dead meat! Oh, we forgot to mention deadmeat, dead meat are the YouTube couple in scream? Oh, yes.
Yes. No, then. Yes.
Ben Davis 24:53
Not as popular as us but probably about a couple
probably. We did do. We'll start war. Roses as a Valentine's Day present, Ben so right Valentine's Day. Yeah, yeah. So you know,
Ben Davis 25:06
But it is here bloody disgusting. That's a good time.
Ben Davis 25:13
Yeah. Yeah. They've been going along. Yeah, they're they're a big deal. Yeah. Good. No as big deal was asked, but they're, they're pretty well known. So check them out. Yeah. I mean, that's it. I think that's quite a nice number. Anything anything that you want to shout out? No, anyone? Okay, great. All right. Cheers, everyone.
Thank you. That was a good one. Yeah. And Happy Happy Days. Happy. Happy days. Happy Halloween. We bet so Yeah, cuz it's like horror for some reason. Okay. Oh, cheer to fail. Next time a show on Las Vegas. Girma. How good can I reinstall it? No, no, nice. Okay, don't fan on Windows.
Ben Davis 25:51
You need to shut the fuck up. Maybe think about leaving that view. Here's an explanation. example. Example. We suck. Click on five stars humorous. Trivia trivia is a Emberson fivestars rate review and subscribe. We pride ourselves on offering one star comment with five star effort.